What Are You Afraid Of?

What is your greatest fear?

What are you truly afraid of? What stops you in your tracks, makes your heart beat a thousand times a minute, makes you break out into a cold sweat?

We are all afraid of something. We all have fear.

In the past, mine was loss. I used to fear the loss of my husband, my family and my friends, my job, my very self. 

I did not realise it consciously until it was brought to my attention during a personal development course I attended last year. But it explained why I lived the way I did and why I felt the need to control everything and all situations around me. It was not an easy fear to let go of.

I had not realised I had lived with it for most of my life but what I learned was - it was getting in the way of truly living my life in the joyful way I wanted and needed.

My other fear was a fear of not being good enough to share my knowledge and my message with the world. Who was I? I was 'just' a teacher! (I certainly don't say that now!) Crazy, right?!

FEAR IS JUST A STORY WE TELL OURSELVES!

I had to learn to change my story! You see....the problem is -

A head full of fears has no space for dreams! No space to breathe. No space to embrace the beauty of life. 

Fear can consume us and deny us truly living without us even being conscious of it!

During this week at school, a young student of mine was preparing to speak in front of the whole school with a small group of students. It was brought to my attention that she was afraid and worried about doing it. So I decided to have a conversation to see if I could help her step out of her fear. 

What was interesting was, earlier in the week when we were discussing emotions, she was the student that reminded the class that it is okay to feel what you feel, but it is not okay to stay there! (I love it when they remember things you have said!)

So here are some questions I had the opportunity to ask her:

(They may come in handy for you to ask your children at home or school or even yourself!!)

 Is it ok for you to be worried, scared or afraid of speaking in front of everyone? Yes

 Is it ok to stay feeling that way? No

 Why not? Because I can get a sore tummy or a sore head when I think about it too much

 How do you think you might feel afterwards, even if you are feeling afraid if you decided to be brave and do it anyway? (After some thought...) Happy. I would feel good about doing it and I would be with the others.

 How do you think you might feel afterwards if you decide to stay afraid and worried and you decide not to speak? Sad that I decided not to do it and I would feel like I missed out.

 Which would you rather feel? I would rather feel happy about doing it. It's not the first time I have felt this way. I felt this way when I did a concert last year.

 So, what do you think you need to tell your brain to help you move from being afraid and deciding to do this? Umm....I need to tell it that I am brave. (What else?) That I can do it and I won't be alone.

 Absolutely! What happens when you tell your brain you are brave and confident and that you can do it - even though you might still be feeling nervous about it? It listens to you and believes you and it believes what you tell it.

Exactly! If you keep telling your brain you are afraid - that is what it listens to! The best thing to do it to feel the fear and know it's okay and then do it anyway!

Will she do it? I hope so! I will know next week! But the conversation is hopefully enough to plant the seed and give her the right language to focus on something different other than JUST BEING AFRAID!

 Fear is the brain's way of saying there is something we need to overcome!  

 What do you need to overcome?

 What is getting in your way of living your best life or moving forward on a project?

 What is the action you have been avoiding? (We are ALL avoiding something!)

 What would happen if you decided to do it? How would you feel afterwards?

FEAR has two meanings:

 Fear Everything And Run OR

 Face Everything And Rise

It is up to you what you decide to do. Will you run or will you rise? The answer depends on how you want your life to be!

Do you have the courage to face your fear today?

Please note: I still have fears! I am still working through them on a daily basis! We all are! You are not alone! But my goal is to feel it, know it's okay and be brave enough to take one small action each day to move past it! Not always easy...but oh so worth it!

 Courage doesn't mean you don't get afraid. Courage means you don't let fear stop you.

Without fear, there cannot be courage.

Bethany Hamilton

Until next week....don't be afraid of the fear!

Clarissa xo