Observe Your Thoughts

I heard someone ask recently - 

Are you an observer of your thoughts? 

Are you conscious of the thoughts you have, as they arise? The thoughts around what you say to yourself or about yourself or about situations you are in or even, about others.

Hmmm.......to be honest? Sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not?

Are you like that too?

I admit...it is a really challenging thing to do - to take conscious notice of individual thoughts when they pop into your head.

Why is it so challenging? 

Because we have spent most of our lives repeatedly saying the same things in our heads that our parents said to us. We are conditioned to think the things that we actually think!

I take my hat off to any parent out there! You guys have got the toughest gig on the planet. You have the biggest responsibility to raise these little humans with the aim that they grow and become relatively well balanced and contributing members of society!

But this goes beyond parents. This is to parents, teachers and anyone who has any interaction with little humans.

We don't realize until we are a lot older, that our thoughts control everything that we do and how we respond to things. We only realize as adults that OUR parents and teachers were doing the very best they could with the information and resources that they had at the time.

BUT.....

 What if you could make better parenting decisions? Would you?

 What if you could make better decisions in the classroom with your students?                   Would you?

Yes....of course, you would!

For me, learning this - I had to keep it really simple. 

So here is what I learned:

 1. THE MIND - is always looking for ways to keep us safe (that's its job) and using thoughts we are familiar and comfortable with, is one way of doing it.

2. Your Mind lies to you!

3. We ALL have goofy thoughts! Thoughts that we know deep down are not necessarily true but we are so used to believing them, that we think they are our own thoughts!

 How do we help our kids, at home or school, so that they grow up with different recurring thoughts than what we had? With thoughts that support them as adults?

I have a few thoughts and I think this is where the power is. But it is going to take practice!

If you're like me.....it may take you A LOT of practice! But that's ok! We are all a work in progress! :D

* Observe your thoughts and your feelings without judging them. 

* Is your thought coming from the present moment or is it something that you have thought before and it is from your past?

* Is your thought serving you? That is...is it a productive thought that is lifting you up and helping to move you forward in life?

* It is ALWAYS OK to acknowledge how you feel, how others may feel and especially how your kids feel.

* You can't unsay things - so, if you make a parenting decision or a teacher decision and it was not the best one or the right one - apologize and then FIX IT! We are only human!

* What you say to yourself is reflected in your actions and words. 

* Your kids are ALWAYS watching and listening.

THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR KIDS:

* It is ok to feel that way. 

* What are you saying to yourself, about yourself, right now?

* What is really happening that you think that?

* What can you say about yourself instead that helps you to feel happier/better/successful? etc.

* Encouraging kids to journal or write their thoughts down, is a great way to help with challenging thoughts and emotions as well.

 Giving kids the opportunity to have better quality thoughts is a challenging one but certainly not impossible and DEFINITELY worth the effort.

But....it starts with observing our own thoughts first!

Much suffering, much unhappiness arises when you take each thought that comes into your head for the truth.

You can not be trusted to tell yourself the truth!

Until next week...have a conscious and mindful week.

Clarissa xo