I've got a Problem!

I know some of you might find this hard to believe.....but...I admit it!

I've got problems! 

Some self induced...some out of my control but problems just the same!

What I also know...is that YOU'VE got problems too! 

Yep! We all have them. Even our little humans.

But here is what I have come to realise and understand - 

The only actual problem we have is that we think we should not have any problems! 

Now, I know I can hear you saying - but life without any problems at all would be SO much easier/better/quieter/calmer etc. And as adults, we pass this thinking, unconsciously, to our kids.

We all know that kids are the world's greatest mimics, so we know that our language is heard, internalised and then regurgitated in some form in the future. Not always as we like and sometimes in a humourous way!

This also includes are reactions and language around how we solve our problems. So ultimately, our problems can really become learning opportunities for ourselves and the kids we spend our time with.

Now when I talk about problems here today....

I am referring to moments of challenge - whether it's engaging in or completing a task at school or home or a social interaction with friends or siblings.

 So....how do we teach our kids HOW to problem solve?

The one thing I love about teaching (among so many things) is the opportunity to empower kids with the ability to problem solve. Now, we do have to remember that we are dealing with little humans where all problems are....initially...BIG problems. 

My first question is always:

 How big is the problem, really?

There are a few options - it's a hiccup or a little glitch, not really a problem OR a little problem OR a medium problem OR a big problem OR a GIGANTIC problem OR an...

Once we figure out the size of the problem...my next question is:

  How can you/we fix it?  Or 

 What needs to happen in order to be able to fix it?

Here is what always astounds me - 

MOST times, kids will be able to come up with a solution. We assume, they need to be told how to solve problems all the time but often, they are resourceful enough to see at least one possible and useful solution. 

Once they have suggested one idea to solve the problem, my next question is:

 Great! What else could you do?

 This I ask a couple of times until we have at least 3 options! It allows them the opportunity to see that there is always more than one solution to any problem.

Once they have suggested a few ideas, I usually say - 

Great! You have a few good options.

Choose the solution you think would solve the problem best!

Are we always going to pick the right solution? Possibly not!

But this is why we have several options! And what I have found, is when kids think of their own solutions, the result of solving the problem seems to have a little bit more impact behind it.

Now....what happens when you ask how they could fix it and the response you get is: 

I don't know! 

This response used to drive me nuts! Until I discovered this next question!

This is my favourite question of all time and I love that it works 99% of the time you ask it!

 If you DID know....

- If you DID know, how do you think you might solve it?

- If you DID know, what would do you think you would do next?

- If you DID know, how do you think could you help?

- If you DID know, what do you think you could change/do differently?

The possibilities are endless!

Sometimes, they will have a think and they say 'I don't know' again...don't be afraid to repeat the question! There are no wrong answers when it comes to problem solving! Only learning opportunities.

But the cool thing about this question is when you ask it and you get a different response to the automated 'I don't know!'

* Is it possible that we, as adults, can use these questions on ourselves, think out loud and model them for our kids?

* We are all far more resourceful than we realise! 

* Are you being a conscious problem solver? 

The only way to get good at solving problems

is to solve them!  

Seth Godin

Until next week.....Have a conscious and mindful week! 

 Clarissa xo